Author Topic: oh you'll never get to heaven  (Read 19193 times)

Offline Ian

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oh you'll never get to heaven
« on: February 11, 2006, 11:28:17 PM »
each verse is lead then repeated line by line then all lines are sung together
camp leader passes round the lead for the verses to volunteers until they decide it has gone on long enough then leads the ending

Oh the Deacon went down, to the cellar to pray.
But he fell asleep, and stayed all day.
[Repeat.]

<each verse starts with the line>
Oh you'll never get to Heaven (Audience repeat)
<Then verse chosen from below or your own>

<chorus>
I aint gonna grieve, my lord
I aint gonna leave, my lord
I aint gonna grieve...
my lord no more...

<alt chorus>
I aint gonna grieve, I aint gonna worry
I aint gonna leave this world in a hurry
I aint gonna grie-i-e-i-e
my lord no more-ore-ore

(these two work well when sung together)

verses

In skips car, cos skips car, wont get that far

In a ping pong ball, cos a ping pong ball, is much to small

On a Boy Scouts knee, cos a Boy Scouts knee, is too wobbly

In a Girl Guides bra, cos a Girl Guides bra, won`t stretch that far

On a Jumbo jet, cos the Lord aint built, no runways yet

In a biscuit tin, cos a biscuit tins, got biscuits in

With a fat Girl Guide, cos the pearly gates, are not that wide

On roller skates, cos you'll skate right past, the pearly gates

and finally to end

If you get to Heaven, before I do, then dig a hole and pull me through

If I get to heaven, before you do, I'll dig a hole and spit on you
« Last Edit: February 12, 2006, 07:30:16 PM by Ian »

Offline Ian

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Re: oh you'll never get to heaven
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2006, 07:31:18 PM »
Oh you canít get to heaven, in a rocking chair.
ĎCause the Lord donít allow, no lazybones there. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven, in a [name of person]ís car.
ĎCause the gosh darn thing, wonít go that far. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven, in a [name of person]ís boat.
ĎCause the gosh darn thing, wonít even float. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven, on water skis.
ĎCause the Lord donít allow, no hairy knees. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven, on roller skates.
ĎCause youíll roll right by those pearly gates. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven in a limousine,
ĎCause the Lord donít sell no gasoline. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven on a motor bike,
ĎCause youíll get halfway, then youíll have to hike. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven in a supersonic jet,
ĎCause the Lord ainít got no runways yet. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven with powder and paint,
ĎCause it makes you look like what you ainít. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven in a strapless gown,
ĎCause the gosh darn thing might fall right down. etc.
Oh you canít get to heaven in [name of person]ís pants,
ĎCause [name of person]ís pants are full of ants. etc.
Oh you canít chew terbaccy on the golden shore,
ĎCause the Lord donít have no cuspidor. etc.
Oh I want to go to heaven, and I want to do it right,
So Iíll go up to heaven all dressed in white. etc.
Oh one fine day, and it wonít be long,
Youíll look for me, and Iíll be gone. etc.
Oh if you get to heaven, before I do.
Just bore a hole, and pull me through. etc.
Well if I get to heaven, before you do.
Iíll plug that hole, with shavings and glue. etc.
Thatís all there is, there ainít no more.
Saint Peter said, as he closed the door. etc.
Oh thereís one more thing I forgot to tell,
If you donít go to heaven, youíll go to hell. etc.